The richest black man in the world, second only to Oprah, was removed from a private jet during an emergency landing in Pittsburgh last night because the pilot couldn't handle Chappelle's erratic behavior.
"At first he was just singing songs from Grease in a really high register," said pilot Tay Kyurclosoff. "Then he started walking into the cockpit, where he began licking the instruments and asking the flight crew if his dress made him look fat."
Chappelle then began to masturbate while reading The Sharer Image's ad in Sky Mall magazine.
"Finally," said the pilot, "a sly marshal intervened, firing a warning shot into Chappelle's forehead, to which Chappelle responded, "Nice shot, dick."
Chappelle was later arrested and charged with public assholiness, or "The Quentin Tarantillo Law."