Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Friday, 2 July 2010

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Oil In The OJ

Miami, FL-- Orange-juice lovers woke up to an unexpected surprise today after thousands of people discovered crude oil in their favorite fruit. The thick, gooey oil was also discovered in Florida's lemon and lime crop. The kumquat crop wasn't affected, for some reason.

Agriculture experts were stumped by the dilemma. It's believed the crude oil condensed from tiny droplets in the atmosphere over the past few months. The oil volcano in the Gulf of Mexico has been gushing oil since April 20. This new problem was completely unexpected.

Shoppers at a local Toke 'N' Poke grocery store seemed unconcerned with the whole thing.

"It taste a little different, but we didn't mind." said shopper Eureka McMuffin. "The car needed a little oil anyway, so it was no big deal." she said. She lit a joint and did some more shopping.

Agriculture experts say there is no reason to recall billions of dollars of Florida's citrus crop--unless more people complain.

When President Obama was informed of the problem, he quickly showed his leadership skills.

"Just drink kumquat juice, that's my favorite drink anyway!" said the world leader.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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