US Congressman and Senators streamed toward the exits today as tens of thousand of the unemployed faced the future without funds of any kind. The limos waited at the exits and private jets waited at the airport tarmacs to wing the legislators to their home districts for a weekend of parades, speeches, fireworks, and fun. Food banks across the country prepared for an onslaught of the hungry.
As the legislators left the building, protestors lined the street. Chris Dodd and Barney Frank, two democrats, had to push their way through the crowd to attend a banking industry "appreciation day party." Protestors sang, "Hail to the Thief's," as they passed by. Banking legislation had been watered down to nothing, unemployment checks had been watered down to zero and "Cash & Carry" it appears, did indeed, carry the day
Other reports from the area indicate that House Minority Leader, John Boehner was the subject of a great deal of the protesters ire. He looked disdainfully (as only he can) at the crowd as he left the building with his golf clubs. A homeless and legless veteran of the Iraq war approached him in a wheelchair, and asked, "Mr. Boehner, going to have a nice weekend on the links?" Bystanders say Congressman Boehner laid down his golf clubs and said to the man, "We honor your service." He then, took out an eight iron and hit the man between his eyes. "Should have used a three wood," Boehner mumbled, picked up his bag, and got into his limousine.
A little girl in the crowd was heard asking her veteran father, "Daddy, are you a Republican or a Democrat?" He answered, "Neither dear, I am an American."