Written by Harold Q. Fuey
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Thursday, 1 July 2010

image for SuBo fanatic crashes husband's car!
Crash!

A Susan Boyle fanatic was today in shock after accidentally crashing her wealthy husband's car through a parking lot wall. The unnamed fanatic, thought to be in her mid-90's, had apparently forgotten how to drive, having not left her house since March 2009.

"I suddenly became confused," said the fanatic. "I couldn't remember what all the pedals do, so I just pressed one and ended up going through a wall. I had become hooked on Susan Boyle forums, and hadn't left my house for a while."

The fanatic, sporting a red scarf despite the unbearable heat, had apparently taken her wealthy husband's Rolls-Royce out to go shopping. "I didn't like the new color scheme of my favorite forum, so I thought I'd go shopping and spend some of my husband's money."

The Rolls-Royce, which had recently been re-sprayed red, was left dangling over the edge of the parking lot. SuBo's CD could still be heard blasting out of the car's CD player at 3000 decibels. "I'm a little hard of hearing, you know!" said the fanatic. When asked what her husband would say, she replied "Yes, it's half past two, dear."

"Why wasn't she cleaning her house like I told them all to?" grumbled the chief fanatic. "Only men should be driving, anyway. Women should only drive with a man carrying a white flag in front of the car," he continued.

"God will help recover the car!" smiled another fanatic. "Or maybe the ACME Towing Company, whoever shows up first really I guess!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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