Recent sightings of Nessie the Loch Ness monster and photos taken by American tourists have sprung up a strange coincidence.
One American tourist after a traditional Scottish lunch of Haggis and Scotch whiskey decided to take a walk along the Loch in the hope of getting a picture of the famous monster. He was rewarded with the best photo yet of the said beast. It appeared about twenty feet from the shore splashing around in the shallows and suddenly crawled out of the water on to land.
The Yank was clicking away like a good un and also took out his camera for some photos. What the pictures show is a beast covered with red hair all over its body.
As the thicko Yank observed the creature it appeared to blow up a kind of bag under its throat and start emitting a strange wailing sound that echoed around the valley. The stupid Yank became very afraid at seeing such a creature and hearing the horrible cry coming from the beast he ran back to his hotel the Urquart Castle.
When he had recovered from his shock at seeing the fabled Loch Ness Monster he started up-loading the photos to his cousin Wilbur in the Florida Everglades. Wilbur spotted the coincidence straight away and started rummaging around for the pictures. At last this daft Yankee pillock cousin found the photos of --"a Bigfoot" or Saquatch that actually matched exactly the pictures from LOCH NESS.
The creature was seven feet tall and covered in long red hair. It WAS the same creature!. A top American idiot scientist confirmed that the two creatures were probably related having swum between the two countries to mate and the probability was that there were a large family of them sharing a "SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP" between the two countries.
Other sightings of similar creatures have appeared on TV on Burns Night, the Billy Connolly show and in the movie Braveheart.
The stupid Yankee tossers now plan to plant the stars and stripes flag in Scotland and claim the land as the fifty whatever bloody state its at now.
Reporter Ivor Bigun McTavish hic under the table Highland Inn Loch bladdy Ness.