Written by Rocky Jones
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Wednesday, 30 June 2010

image for Obama's Birth Certificate Found!
Where's the Mayo?

President Barack Obama's birth certificate was claimed to have been found last week while JZ Knight was channeling Johnny Carson at her home in Yelm, Washington.

"You will find Barack Obama's birth certificate in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch," intoned Carson's spirit in a guttural voice emanating from Ms. Knight.

An unnamed spokesman for Funk and Wagnalls Publishing Company, based in Logan, Utah, reported, "I personally stepped out on to the porch here at Funk and Wagnalls, and did not see either a mayonnaise jar, or Mr. Obama's birth certificate. I did, however, find a pair of former President Clinton's tightly whiteys in a Tomato Preserves jar." Mr. Clinton had previously claimed he wore only boxers.

While channeling Dick Martin of Rowan and Martin's famed Laugh-In program from the sixties, Mr. Martin, once again, in a chilling, guttural voice exclaimed, "Look THAT up in your Funk and Wagnalls."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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