Washington, D.C. -- Authorities stunned the nation as news of the arrest of a young, knock-out gorgeous alleged Russian spy spread across the networks today.
"What in the world?" one flabbergasted neighbor of 28 year-old Russian spy, Anna Chapman exclaimed to reporters as the raid took place. "A Russian spy? But... she's so lovely -- this can't be true!"
Although shocking to some, Intelligence agents in the field are characterizing the situation as straight out of a bad scene in a 45 year-old rejected James Bond script.
"Her, a Russian spy? Well of course not..." an FBI agent sardonically intoned under her breath.
"They usually come with crack mouth and a severe case of camel toe, or else two-hundred fifty-five pounds overweight and steering a damned scooter in the grocery store," a plain-spoken CIA agent deadpanned. "But a gorgeous young bombshell? From Russia? And oooh, invisible ink?" the impassioned agent asked. "Now that's unique!"
Although authorities are tight-lipped as to the potential damage the sultry Russian spook may have caused, the general sentiment seems to be "grave."
"Oh, it's baaad," the FBI agent confirmed complete with artificial quivering in her voice. "Real baaad."