Amateur golfers, all of whom are taxpayers, were said to be speechless today after it was announced on the Golf Channel, that Jon Daly had been hired by the Democratic National Committee (DNC) to work with the President who was said to be 'unable to clear is mind.'
The President's mental constipation is said to be due to never ending problems he's had on the course where he continues to fail getting out of traps he's driven into after errant tee shots and talking without his teleprompters.
After hearing that yet another Mexican politician running for Governor had been gunned down along with 4 aides and a body guard, Obama is said to have gone out and shot a 112, even though he was playing from the ladies tees.
Upon hearing that a National Park in Arizona had been shut off to access to American taxpayers and vacationeers because it had been taken over by illegal aliens as a 'half way house' and drug distribution center, Obama shot 115 and took 42 putts.
When told that the Supreme Court had upheld the Constitution allowing citizens to bear arms, and after talking to Chicago mayor Daly who said he was going to ignore the Supreme Court decision, Barry went out and shot 122, including 13 on a par three, taking 9 to get out of the green side bunker.
After hearing about the multi-state Russian spy ring while sharing a hamburger with Russian President Dimitry Medvedev, Barry went outand quit after 10 holes where he shot 75 and lost 2 dozen Titleist golf balls with the Presidential seal.
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, himself a 32 handicapper, said there were' too many minor outside distractions for the President to concentrate properly on his golf game' in declaring that Barry was going to take some 'well earned ' vacation time.
Gibbs said that the President would be traveling to Pebble Beach, CA, and would be put up in the new ocean side home of Tipper and Al Gore until such time as the loving couple resolved property rights in their upcoming divorce.
When questioned about the selection of Daly as the President's personal golf coach, Gibbs was quite frank.
"Right now, Jon is a little down and out and could use a little stimulus.The President met with him over a 'few' beers, and later over some wings at the local Hooters, and felt Jon was the right guy to not only help him with his swinging, but also 'loosen up' his personality to make him more believable to the American public as we head into the important mid-term elections."
Several professional golfers, who refused to be named, said the President was in an uphill battle to improve his game.
"First," said a 2-time Master's winner, " golf is a right hander's game...a left hander just doesn't have the right attitude to learn the game, or perform at a high level."
Said another multi-tour winner and a veteran of 10 seasons, "Hey, I've seen the guy swing. He just don't have no rhythm!"
Said a member of the Senior Tour, " he'll never be good...no hand eye coordination which you need in putting, his left hand doesn't know what his right hand is doing!"
"Until he gets the right caddy, he'll never improve," said a two year veteran of the PGA, having all those Pants Suit Posse members carrying his bag ain't goin' get it....I mean, would you want one of them cleaning your balls and wipin' down your putter?"