Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Michael Jackson

Monday, 28 June 2010

image for Michael Jackson 'Spunk Stain' Glove Sells At Auction For $190,000
Lot no. 243: some more of Jackson's shit

A crystal-studded glove belonging to the late pop star Michael Jackson, which is said to contain traces of the superstar's semen, has sold at a US auction for $190,000 (£126,000).

The glove, worn during the Jacksons' 1984 Victory tour, was among over 200 items on offer. The private buyer, it is claimed, may be a paedophile or other type of enthusiast.

The sale took place at Julien's Auctions at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas at the weekend.

Some items fetched more than 10 times their estimated value, amongst them the spaff-spattered glove which, it's thought (by me) Jackson may have kept in one of his many bathrooms for the express purpose of having a wank.

Other items in the sale included one of Jackson's pink fluffy slippers which fetched $6000, a cold festering turd, salvaged from his toilet on the day of his death ($4,000), an extremely long list of young boys' names and ages - some with ticks - which brought ($3,600), and part of his real nose, which brought howls of derision.

It was the first anniversary of Jackson's death last Friday, and after a year, the children of America are, at last, finally getting used to the fact that they can sleep safely in their beds at night without having nightmares about that crystal-studded, spunk-stained glove.

OR CAN THEY?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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