Written by Charpa93
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Saturday, 26 June 2010

image for In Latest Speech, Palin Stops Short of Referring to Self as Martyr
"Charge a Hundred Bucks and the Cost of Shots and Neutering"

In yet another controversial appearance of Sarah Palin, this time at the California State University, Stanislaus campus, Sarah complained of how her message is being met with the same controversy over and over--that she is undeserving of the large sums of money she commands for her appearance fees.

Stopping short of coming right out and calling herself a modern-day martyr, Sarah Palin did say that her message will go on long after she is no longer a highly-paid political speaker, leaving many to wonder if that meant she was going to stop accepting large speaking fees or that she was willing to die for her beliefs.

"I stand before you today willing to accept your generous support without feeling the need to explain whether or not I'm worthy of it," said Palin. "Some people give their greatness away, but as my mother used to say, 'if you give puppies away for free, people won't cherish them as much as if they are made to pay dearly for them-charge a hundred bucks plus the cost of shots and neutering.' I still live by those words today."

"The same goes for me and my time," she continued. "If I was to show up and just give my speeches away for free, the good people who follow my politics would begin to take me for granted, possibly even stop coming to see me. Therefore, I must charge them a lot so that they feel they are getting something of value from me, whether they are or they aren't."

The presidential hopeful didn't stop there, though, likening herself to the great Joan of Arc. "Just like Joan of Arc who was burned at the stake for her beliefs, I too am being persecuted for my belief that I am worth every penny paid to me for my speaking engagements," said Palin to thunderous applause and chants of "Sarah, Sarah, Sarah."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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