Written by News Hanky
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Saturday, 26 June 2010

image for Hawaiian Trafficking Ring Targets Little Old Ladies
lady

The problem of little old lady trafficking into Hawaii is relatively new, and as little as three years ago, police were unable to detect any signs of it.

However, when police noticed a dearth of knitters and crazy cat ladies, they could see there would be a demand to fill this gap. Sure enough, when a Hawaiian anti-trafficking initiative was launched recently, the first case was uncovered.

80-year-old "Josie May" was smuggled into Honolulu from New Zealand 20 years ago for the purpose of shuffling along streets, asking passersby for directions to Ekatahuna, and feeding the birds tuppence a day.

Her real identity was discovered when she was brought to the attention of the Honolulu Police Department after bringing them a lovely batch of fresh buttered scones. Honolulu Police sent a photograph to a newspaper in New Zealand and she was immediately recognised by everyone living in New Zealand. "That's Aunty Ethel!" New Zealand exclaimed.

Police are delighted at the happy outcome and Aunty Ethel is being prepared for the trip back home. New Zealand is making sure her slippers and her teeth are ready for her arrival.

Hawaiian Police are confident that progress is being made and the shady world of trafficking little old ladies is becoming exposed. "we're beginning to understand the problem now", a spokeswoman said. "Everybody loves fresh baking and knitted scarves, but please be vigilant. If a reasonably priced little old lady is offered to you, there's a good chance she's somebody else's Aunt."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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