A new 'Birther' Controversy has arisen after Al Gore was accused of being a 'sex crazed poodle' by a groomer in a Pet Bed & Breakfast in Portland, Oregon and has refused to show his AKC papers.
Allegedly born in a breeding kennel noted for producing US politicians, his father, Al Gore, Sr. was a noted Congressman & Senator from Tennessee , the groomer said he was 'probably born in one of those puppy mills in Knoxville where they put any kind of dog together and what ever comes out they call a 'designer' breed!"
Al Sr. had plenty of time to work on his lineage. He was a congressman for 14 years, and a US Senator for 18, and contrary to another inconvenient truth put forth by Jr., voted against the '64 Civil Rights act, and loved using the
The groomer reacted to what she said was 'undisciplined behaviour' on the part of Gore, who she described as 'a big, shaggy Lummox with a perpetual hard on."
The groomer, Elvira "Emmie" McDyke, 47, said she was used to unruly pets causing problems at the B & B, but this is the first time one of her charges attempted to 'get off on my knee cap."
Elvira said the trouble started after having clipped his nails, cleaned his ears, checked his teeth, but Al "got kinda horny when I was cleaning his anal gland...most dogs don't really enjoy this, but Al clearly showed he kinda liked it and kept pushing his arse up against my finger!"
McDyke said she had to call two male attendants to assist her in restraining the 275 lb Gore, which she likened to a" Dumb Shetland Sheep Dog with the libido of a Greenwich, CN poodle...a Chris Dodd/Ted Kennedy clone who thinks every female is there to service him!"
"Thank God Tipper finally came and got him," said Elvira, "last time I saw him she was leading him out to the family van and he pissed on the right front tyre before he jumped in the back seat where he promptly left a big, fat 'skootie' mark rubbing his arse!"
An aide for Gore said that the Billionaire Global Warming Guru would not be releasing any of his AKC papers, a record of his Canine Good Citizenship Award, and strenuously denied Bo, the White House Portuguese Water Spaniel, was an off spring sired during a raucous weekend drinking bout in Provincetown, MA with Barney Frank celebrating Gay Pride Day.