Written by anthonyrosania
Print this
Topics: Music

Thursday, 24 June 2010

image for Josie and the Pussycats to Headline Lollapalooza 2011
It kinda looks like a boat. Let's see if it'll float in the tub... AAAAAAAAH!

Lollapalooza, 1991's cash grab. . . er, farewell concert by Jane's Addiction singer Perry Farrell which has become a bastardization of its own ideal, has found a way to keep this commercial lynching / kewlfest fresh and new: Hiring Josie and the Pussycats and Fat Albert's Junkyard Band as headliners.

Josie and the Pussycats, the second-best-loved band of the 1960s, will dust the moth sh-t off the cat ear hats and hit the North stage for 3 shows. Josie, who has overcome addiction, significant weight gain and her bitter divorce from Grape Ape, will be playing with her band for the first time in 30 years.

"I still have the restraining order in place," said Josie, referring to the Order of Protection against tambourine player Valerie. "So that b-tch ain't allowed near me onstage. But, other than that, it should be a total gas!"

Melody will be playing with the band, but in a limited capacity, after her 1989 kitchen appliance accident which left her confined to a wheelchair.

"I wanted to get some curl in my hair, so I put a butterknife in my toaster. That gave me a really bad 'ouchie'," said Melody from her home in an assisted living hospice in New Mexico. "It always worked for Tom and Jerry."

Nevertheless, Melody is excited to be with her old bandmates: "Oh, golly, I can't wait to see Brandon and Brenda! And Dylan, and Kelly and Steve! And Brandon's mom, Andrea! And Donna and Nat and Dylan, and Brandon and Brenda, too!"

Rounding out the performers are Jabberjaw and The Neptunes, Jem and the Holograms , Timmy! and the Lords of the Underworld and Lauryn Hill. Sadgasm has also agreed to reform for the show, and Mystik Spiral, who will headline the South stage, announced that they will probably change their band's name before the August shows.

Make anthonyrosania's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 1?

2 1 17 23
62 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more