Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 23 June 2010

image for Jagger/Richards: crack appearing in General McChrystal-Meth mess
McChrystal may just tell his boss to use the Marianne Faithfull Mars Bar position!

Washington AC/DC - (Sympathy 4 The Devil Mess): The Glimmer Twins were quick to react today to the public furor surrounding beleaguered General Stanley McChrystal.

Their US PR commented Let's Spin the Fight Together this afternoon as President Obama and his Afghan hit man met in the White House Voodoo Lounge beer garden - er....rose garden! - to chew the cud.

General McC is in the doghouse having a 19th Nervous Breakdown over his much publicised Let It Bleed remarks.

His boss, the US Commander-in-Chief, has let it be known that he Can't Get No Satisfaction despite knowing that Time Is on My Side in the ongoing armed conflict.

McChrystal has retalliated, quoting You Can't Always Get What You Want and described ongoing tensions at the US Defense Department as It's Only Rock 'n Roll.

Meanwhile Pentagon boss Robert Gates has fired off a furious memo to the Afghan conflict commander reminding him of the Ain't Too Proud to Beg strategy if he really wants to keep his job.

President Obama's spokesman Robert Gibbs has also waded into the argument with his When the Whip Comes Down ultimatum, warning McChrystal and any other maverics in the US Army just who really is in charge.

At the heart of the Afghani debacle is a do or die bottom line described as a Hang Fire controversy versus Beast of Burden tactics.

McChrystal has let it be known he favors the Taleban getting their Sticky Fingers on a massive Exile on Main Street stimulus package designed to bribe them into democracy.

Citing The Last Time argument that succeeded in mollifying the Mujahedeen in the 1980s the General is said to be very tempted to use the Marianne Faithfull Mars Bar position with his White House boss.

"I'd be a Fool to Cry bringing in any other solution to this Buggers Banquet freakshow!" an entry on his Twitter/Quitter blog said today.

Gen Colon Bowell is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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