Written by Tawdry Soup
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Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Obliterating the old world record of 4 days, 17 hours and 16 minutes, blue-eyed freelance mechanic Randy Starnes has befriended a Livingston, Texas couple and taken off with the wife in almost half that time.

In a rapid-fire chain of events, Starnes did a little work on the couple's Saab, which included some valve work and a window washer fluid refill, went over to the couples house for BBQ and a couple of beers, then promptly whisked a giggling Alana Pruett away in the Saab, that was now purring like a kitten.

Mrs. Pruett's husband, Bob, stunned by the recent developments and the speed at which they occurred, was found by Tawdry Soup sitting behind a large stack of bills while a baby hollered in the next room. "I don't understand it," cried Bob. "We were just a normal couple with normal couple problems, nothing big. When we met Randy it was like we've known each other forever. I was a little wary about asking him over, but Alana said he seemed honest and didn't look like he would ever steal anything…"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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