Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 20 June 2010

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Cindy Lou Huntingwood, who is the store greeter in Milwaukee has been voted Wal-Mart's Most Favorite Greeter.

SHEBOYGAN, Wisconsin - Maude McStarmaiden, a spokesperson for the world's largest retailer, has stated that the retailing giant is implementing a new policy in Wisconsin and Minnesota.

McStarmaiden said that from now on anyone applying for a job as a store greeter must be fluent in Norwegian as well as English.

The Arkansas-based retailer was receiving hundreds of complaints a month from non-English speaking Norwegian customers of its Minnesota and Wisconsin outlets stating that they have no idea what the store greeter was telling them as they entered the store.

One lady, Astrid Ragna Sandermagnus, 88, said that the way the greeter was looking at her she is almost certain that the store greeter was making fun of her blue hair.

She asked her 12-year-old great granddaughter, Inga, if she by any chance knew what the greeter had told her. Inga who speaks a little broken English remarked that she thinks that the greeter was either criticizing her grandmother's blue hair, her varicose teeth, or her bamboo walker.

Sylvesterina Walton, a niece of the original owner said that she personally apologized to Mrs. Sandermagnus and told her that she would be mailing her a token of their appreciation for her 50 years of loyal patronage.

Walton said that she will give Mrs. Sandermagnus a seven days seven nights trip to Soho, England; a 2007 Honda Civic, and $350 in cash.

In other news. Volcanic ash from Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull volcano is so widespread that it is now starting to affect the digestive system of the doodlebugs in Brazil's Amazon Rain Forest.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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