Written by Gail Farrelly
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Saturday, 19 June 2010

image for Sir Winston Churchill Is Alvin Greene's Speech Writer
"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat."

The Democratic Party, South Carolina, and the entire U. S. was stunned recently when an unknown by the name of Alvin Greene won the Democratic primary race for the U.S. Senate. The Spoof can now report some information, just discovered yesterday, which may help to explain this amazing result.

Alvin Greene is being advised by the best in the business. None other than Sir Winston Churchill, prime minister extraordinaire, patriot, historian, Nobel prize winner, and war hero. Although he's been dead since 1965, Churchill got a special "earth" pass from St. Peter (who loves political intrigue) to serve as advisor to, and speech writer for, Greene.

Churchill has reportedly told friends, "I like to see smart-assed politicians get a boot in the bum every once in a while. When I was alive, my wife Clementine did that for me, so now I'm happy to turn around and do it to some other politicians."

Reporters, trying to force an impromptu press conference, ran after Churchill as he left Greene headquarters yesterday. Churchill, puffing on his cigar and giving his well-known "V" sign, said nothing as he walked to the parking lot. But finally, just before getting into his car, he turned and said he had only five words about Alvin Greene: "This is his finest hour."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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