Written by Amethyst Ryder
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Topics: Oil Spill, Iowa, shrimp, Tofu

Friday, 18 June 2010

image for Tofu shrimp hot new trend in Cajun cooking
Bean there, done that: Tofu is the new shrimp.

Due to the annihilation of the Gulf of Mexico's shrimp population by the BP oil catastrophe, creative coastal cooks have turned to vegetarian shrimp as a substitute.

"Our city was built on shrimp," said New Orleans chef Martin Mouton. "Well, actually it was built on a swamp. But what a lovely castle we built upon that swamp! And there used to be plenty of shrimp in the swamp, until those bastards from BP killed them all. Meurtriers!"

Crafted from only the freshest tofu made from soybeans imported from Iowa, the faux shrimp are seasoned with the best the Bayou has--or, rather had--to offer.

"Thanks to BP," said Mouton, "we've had to import our Cajun seasoning from Iowa, too."

"There is no reason whatsoever for Louisiana chefs to resort to vegetarian alternatives," said BP spokesperson Slicken Smooth in response to the trend. "There are plenty of shrimp in the sea; just not in the Gulf of Mexico."

Other "Noveau Cajun" foods soon to be appearing on Gulf Coast menus include Blackened Tofu Catfish, Soybean Gumbo, and Mock Crawfish, all imported from Iowa.

Iowa farmers are said to be experiencing a rapid recovery from the economic recession.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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