This evening, the Martians landed in New Orleans and had a long talk with authorities. They saw the oil slick from Mars and knew that disaster had struck.
They immediately offered to remove all that nasty water from our sea of oil.
"We were on patrol near the big dipper.", they explained, "When we heard of this mishap and that your small people may be in danger, we just flew off the handle!"
At the same time several 30 foot long giant squid washed up on shore along with the Loch Ness Monster.
The Martians suggested that we should mix the oil with our abundant volcanic ash to make asphalt and just pave over the whole Gulf of Mexico.
Anyway, that's what they'd do.