Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Thursday, 17 June 2010

image for Obama Returns Volley: Calls Jimmy Carter "Octogenarian Poltroon Cracker"
Carter "Octo Poltroon Cracker"

With polls in the toilet and the world of public opinion collapsing on him, Barack Obama returned the volley on Jimmy Carter, who claimed that Obama was purloining him of his only honor; that of being the worst president ever.

Normally the President would allow Press Secretary Robert Gibbs to answer the gibes of octogenarian peanut farmers. Evidently the former Georgia peanut tycoon's taunt got under his skin. It is one thing to be accused of being the worst president ever. It is another to have the world be told that you stole the honor from a demented cracker.

In a response that Obama read off his ever-present TelePrompter:

"I always had the highest respect for Jimmy Carter. I don't know why he is attacking me now. He and I have more in common than not. We both hate Israel and love Hamas. We both like fryed chicken and watermelon. We both believe that the best way to make foreign nations like us is to admit that Americans are evil minded despots.

"WTF, Jimmy. Can't we just be friends and agree to share the honor? Life is too short, dude. You and I be bro's. Otherwise you are an octogenarian poltroon cracker."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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