Written by MGmirkin
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Topics: Racism, Oil Spill, bp

Thursday, 17 June 2010

A war of words has broken out over the use of offensive racial language by a Big Oil executive talking about the victims of the most recent oil spill off the gulf coast.

Residents of a tiny Atlantic town in the Gulf Coast region are up in arms about the response of a BO executive to their request for reparations following the recent Gulf Coast oil spill catastrophe. Thousands of gallons of crude oil are being pumped into the gulf daily, destroying precious ocean habitats and entire ecosystems.

The inhabitants of Snorktown, a bustling metropolitan borough in the state of Snorkland have been hard hit by the BO oil spill disaster in the gulf. With their primary hunting and agricultural grounds being buried under gallons of crude oil, the Snork economy has been hard hit.

The Snorks of Snorktown have subpoenaed documents from BO detailing the events and failures leading up to the oil spill disaster.

Leading experts have stated that the damage to undersea ecosystems might be more severe than the damage already seen to birds and other wildlife above the ocean's surface. But until now, nobody had any idea just how bad the damage was. Entire kelp fields laid waste, seahorse farms buried under layers of filth.

Estimates of damage to the Snork economy range in the trillions of clams. Snorks are fighting mad. They already feel disenfranchised by Big Oil's repeated incursions into their territory, robbing them of their natural resources without compensation.

"They think they can just go wherever they want, and drill through whatever piece of sea floor they like, even if it's someone's home or property. Just because they're bigger and have far more advanced technology... They think they can just bully the indigenous people into submission through force and fear!"

Responding to the accusations, a BO Executive casually said, "Look, we're trying to ensure profitability for our shareholders. Do we really need to care what a bunch of Sea Monkeys think? I mean, they're just primitive lower life forms. They haven't even evolved skeletons or the ability to breathe air and survive on land."

This flippant, dismissive, bigoted attitude on the part of Big Oil management has enraged the sea-dwellers.

"How would you like it if we started calling you all some ridiculously bigoted, ill-educated name like Lemurians or Bonobozos, just because you share a common ancestor with monkeys a million years ago, or so? Sea Monkeys, my giant orange Snork!" raged Governor Gallio Wellington Kelp-Seaworthy, grandson of legendary actors Sir AllStar Seaworthy and Dame Casey Kelp. "It's amazing that in such a politically correct day and age, an executive of such a well-known corporation could make such hurtful, racially-charged statements!"

To be sure, the Snorks are now adding hate speech to the list of charges against Big Oil stemming from the catastrophe in the gulf.

The trillions of clams that the Snorks are seeking from Big Oil to restore their economy could be enough to finally sink the struggling corporation once and for all, much as the Deepwater Horizon went down in a churning, flaming maelstrom in the Atlantic.

Time will tell if all wounds can eventually be healed after this great catastrophe. Some wounds will certainly be harder to heal than others. Confidence in Big Oil has certainly waned after this fiasco and the flippant BO attitude.

One Snork protester's sign summed up today's sentiment in Snorktown, it read quite simply: "BO stinks!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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