Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: DUI

Thursday, 17 June 2010

image for Keanu Reeves Jailed for DUI, Giving Fake Name as "Chris Klein"
Chris Klein's limo. He drives for a local company 4 nights a week.

Monosyllabic alleged closet-case Keanu Reeves was released from a Van Nuys, CA jail where he was charged with Driving Under the Influence, and Criminal Impersonation, following an early morning arrest.

Police sources say that Reeves was seen driving erratically at about 3AM Tuesday morning. Once detained by police, Reeves was given a field sobriety test, which he failed as miserably as his band Dogstar failed to make a hit record.

When Reeves was arrested, he gave his name as Chris Klein, a Reeves impersonator who was in some movies with Mena Suvari before she became a hideous troll.

Reeves was released on his own recognizance, and must appear in court next Thursday.

UPDATE: The suspect in the Reeves DUI was NOT Keanu Reeves, but his slightly younger and slightly less talented doppelganger, Chris Klein. Cops say that the Criminal Impersonation charge will be dropped, but authorities also stated that if sh-tty acting was a crime, both Reeves and Klein would get the electric chair.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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