Barack Obama stopped the oil spill this morning. The President donned scuba gear, swam down to the ocean floor, and closed off the leak using duct tape and chewing gum.
White House press secretary Robert Gibbs explained that the President had been facing criticism from all directions. On a visit to Mississippi, a school child asked why Obama hadn't fixed it yet. As Gibbs put it, "the President just snapped."
Regarding scientific questions about how a human could handle the intense pressure under 5000 feet of water, Gibbs said it was "adrenaline, like when a grandmother lifts a car off a grandchild."
Reaction to Obama's feat was mixed. Democrats around the country applauded his effort and early polls today indicate a large increase in the public's favorable view of him. On the other hand, Republican leaders attacked. House minority leader John Boehner (R-OH) said Obama should have acted sooner, pointing out that millions of barrels of oil leaked out because of the delay.
Tea Party darling Sarah Palin was more aggressive, saying that the incident "proves Barack Obama was not born in the United States. He's obviously from the planet Krypton. Not only is he not qualified to be president, he's an illegal alien! Let's send him back to Mexico."
For his part, President Obama felt the excitement was premature: "It's only a temporary fix. Now we have to get the scientists and engineers together - the best minds - and find a permanent solution." In the meantime, the President invited BP CEO Tony Hayward to the White House to have a beer and watch Game 7 of the NBA Finals. "We have to get past our differences," Obama noted.