Hyannis Port, Massachusetts - (Mary Jo Mess): 'A lying, cheating drunkard up to his ass in mobster money laundering and Vatican child sex scandal cover-ups' is the gist of newly released FBI files on Edward Kennedy.
The Senator for Massachusetts' appetite for cocaine-fuelled S&M orgies is described as second only to his capacity for lying under oath and perverting the course of justice, the files explain.
Dozens of death threats against the Kennedy youngest were nothing by comparison to the lifetime's dedication he put into gagging goddawful cold war secrets about his own organized criminal escapades.
Mary Jo Kopechne's little bastard son by the Rev Jesse Jackson is a case in point.
Born in the hold of an oil tanker off Haiti's territorial waters the baby was christened Michael by his Mom before being smuggled via the Horn of Africa to be adopted by the Obama family.
And oiling that freakshow's wheels was only made possible by regular Opus Dei contributions to Kennedy's Riggs Bank offshore account.
KKK campaign funds were routinely funneled to him via the Knights of St Columba diocesal trusts in a nasty private arrangement with Cardinal Eagan.
As for screwing Jackie Kennedy Onassis's younger sister Caroline Lee Bouvier Canfield Radziwill - nowadays knows simply as Lee - the FBI records show a complex destructive relationship built on mutual distrust and instinctive loathing.
John F Kennedy Jr's 1999 Martha's Vineyard plane crash remains an unsolved mystery to date.