Written by Rick Andrew Carl
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Monday, 14 June 2010

image for Carl Paladino Denies Having Sex With Horse
Running away from Carl Paladino

Carl Paladino, a candidate for NY Governor, denied today that he'd had sex with a horse. Paladino was responding to allegations from website WNYMedia, which had previously criticized him for e-mailing a pornographic video of a woman having equine sex.

Seeking the Republican line with the help of the nascent Tea Party movement, Paladino claims he has been besieged by personal smears from liberals, having to do with his illegitimate child, inappropriate e-mails, and his questionable campaign contribution history.

Chris Smith, from WNYMedia, explained that that their story was not about Mr. Paladino: "We were doing a story on horse breeding, and we referenced a particular type of horse - a Palomino. He's just so touchy and egotistical he thinks everything is about him."

Rick Andrew Carl has confirmed that the web story was indeed about Palominos and not about Mr. Paladino. Confronted with this, Carl Paladino insisted that our coverage of this story is also a liberal media smear against him.

Your correspondent explained that we are actually based in Great Britain and have no horse in the New York Governor's race. Paladino insisted that we are "a bunch of faggot liberals," and cut off the interview.

Other major candidates, including Andrew Cuomo and Rick Lazio, also denied having sex with animals. Minor party candidates Howie Hawkins and Warren Redlich made similar denials. A third minor party candidate, famous for a connection to prostitution and allegedly willing to have sex with anything that pays enough, could not be reached for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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