Written by anthonyrosania
Print this

Monday, 14 June 2010

image for Barack Obama Plans Nuclear Attack Against England For BP Disaster
Take that, ya fish and chips eatin' bastards!

United States' high-muckety-muck, President Barack Obama, has delved into the Cold War strategy book to pull a play thought to be retired in 1945: He is threatening the launching of intercontinental nuclear missiles directly at the United Kingdom, in retaliation for the mess British Petroleum (BP) made of the Gulf Coast.

In days past, Obama has been accused of f-cking over BP stockholders, allegedly erasing billions off the company's value with his criticism of the company that took the world's largest petrochemical sh-t in the Gulf of Mexico. Before the accident on April 20th, BP was Great Britain's biggest company, with a stock market value of 122 billion pounds Sterling, which is worth approximately $3,600 in real, American money. Since then, 49 billion pounds, or $1,500, has been wiped off its value.

Now, since BP can't figure out a way to plug up the big frigging hole in the world that is killing every living organism from Texas to Florida, Obama believes they should get a big taste of Big-Daddy Death, atomic style.

"Let's not forget," Obama said. "The United Kingdom have foisted injury after injury on the good people of this Nation, which our forefathers stole from Great Britian some 240 years ago. "

"If we put aside the harm British Petroleum has done to our Gulf Coast, should we then forget about Piers Morgan. How about Anne Robinson? Her catchphrase was 'you are the weakest link'? LAME!"

"Should we just ignore the damage Simon Cowell's done? Or that fat chick Jo from Supernanny. What a twat SHE is, right? Gordon Ramsay? Nigel Barker? Hugh Laurie? My fellow Americans, they Knighted the guy from The Boomtown Rats, for chrissake! Great Britian must be STOPPED!"

Make anthonyrosania's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 plus 2?

9 15 6 16
71 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more