"It is a day of infamy", stated a very upset President Obama. "I have decided that we will never allow this oil company to live down it's actions over the past months. Every time a ship or someone on the shore looks to the south of the United States, they will see the Gulf Of BP Oil Spill and shake their hand in derision!"
The President told his audience in Pensacola that this had nothing to do with the Gulf Oil Company giving millions of contributions to his election as president.
"The Gulf Oil company has done nothing to deserve the title for this mess. That name was already there. A gulf is simply a body of water partially closed in by land."
Obama also stated that he realized that there was a "Muscle Beach" and that some were now calling the Gulf of Mexico...uh..The Gulf of BP Oil Spill, the "Dead Mussel" Beach, but that that was not fair.
"No beach should be named after them."
Meanwhile Obama is being blamed himself by people who live and work on the Gulf, for sitting on his ass for 50 days!
"What has HE done during all this?", asked one disappointed Obama voter. "First we had 'Watergate', then 'Whitewater', then 'Blackwater' and now we got 'Tar Water'. If he's going to begin kicking ass, he needs to become a contortionist and kick his own ass first!"