Written by Bureau
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Thursday, 10 June 2010

image for Scientists Recommend That Oiled Birds Be Killed

A leading scientist from Europe has sent word to the activists that they should not attempt to clean up the birds that are coming back to the shore with all the oil on them.

"I know it sounds cruel, but these birds are already dead."

"We have done tests on this", stated Dr. Janice Mudd. "Not one in a hundred make it after they are cleaned and released. A bird's first instinct is to clean itself and since these can never clean it all off, they will keep trying without eating and die of hunger."

Another expert in the field backed his claim.

Arnold Henry of The World Wildlife Fund stated the same thing. "Once they are heavily coated, it's more humane to kill them."

A very frustrated Greenpeace worker yelled out that he wished he could cover a bunch of BP officials with the mucky oil.

"It wouldn't do a bit of good", stated Henry. "They are some of the oiliest crooks around. They are used to it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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