Written by Jeff Brone
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Topics: Barack Obama

Saturday, 12 June 2010

image for Obama's lack of pointless rage disappoints critics

President Obama's critics and supporters alike have leveled their most insightful criticism yet: he doesn't yell enough.

A spokesman for a Washington think tank said he believed voters expected a tougher president who would get angry and fix messes. Maybe not like Mr. T, but not like that character Carlton on "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" either. Will Smith in "Independence Day" would be a good choice. He added "You know, or maybe like "Shaft." Nobody messed with him, especially oil companies!"

Professor Darryl "The Message" Hydent said he fears Obama suffers from what experts call Rockwell's Syndrome. The professor explained that in 1984 the singer Rockwell, a black man, had the hit song "Somebody's Watching Me" but rather than seem angry about that, Rockwell chose to seem afraid of being watched.

This made him seem more sympathetic to the listeners and less like an "angry black man" (something President Obama may want to avoid). It probably was a good musical choice but may have impeded his efforts to curtail being watched.

The professor stated that "I always felt like if Rockwell could have kicked some ass of who was watching him, he would have been more successful."

The professor added that he didn't really know if Rockwell's problem ever abated using the strategy he chose.

One Obama supporter said "Obama needs to kick some ass. That's how things get done. I should know, I walk around paralyzed with anger most of the time."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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