Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 9 June 2010

image for Joran van der Sloot - "This Is So Unfair"
Help!!! I Want My Mama!!!

Incarcerated sociopathic international playboy Joran van der Sloot has apparently complained to his Peruvian jailers that threats against his personal safety made by fellow prisoners are just so unfair.

Van der Sloot, arrested after a Lima hotel room incident in which a Peruvian woman had her neck accidentally snapped when she opened his laptop computer and "invaded van der Sloots privacy" by reading about the Natalee Holloway case in Aruba, which van der Sloot somehow managed to walk away from, allegedly made a full confession after his arrest.

It's thought that the Dutch citizen fears that while incarcerated in Peru he will become a target for sexual predators and killers alike.

Insiders say he'd rather take his chances in a Special Housing Unit (SHU) in a US penitentiary, alongside the Aryan Brotherhood, the Mexican Mafia, and the Crips, but indications are that this is unlikely to happen.

Prisoners we spoke to who'd been released from the Peruvian jail where Joran van der Sloot is currently being held told us, among other things, that by the time his fellow inmates got through with him, he'd be able to swing a baseball bat with no hands, hold block parties in his butt, and be willing to sell his soul to the devil for a bottle of industrial strength mouthwash.

The stone killers in the jail are said to be sharpening their shanks and smiling like hell.

More as we get it.

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