Talentless suspected transsexual teen traded immortal soul for fleeting fame.
Hack teen heartthrob Justin Bieber sold his soul to the Devil in late 2008, say sources close to him.
"While there is a standard 'Sell Your Soul for Fleeting Fame' Contract," explains Hell's Press Secretary Lynn Redgrave. (Too soon?) "I can not confirm or deny that we will soon own Mr. Bieber's effeminate soul."
The deal, known in Hell as the "Spice Girls Contract", is simple: Bieber, despite having absolutely no talent whatsoever, will enjoy world-wide fame for up to two years. He will then slip back into hopeless obscurity, where he belongs, and live a heartsick, meaningless life.
Immediately upon his death, his eternal soul will be forfeited to Satan, who will reportedly poke it with a stick for all eternity, a source familiar with the contract reports.
"It's a s-it deal," says Britney Spears. "At least when I signed mine, there was a lot of money involved. I hope he finds a way to get out of it."