Written by Gail Farrelly
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Monday, 7 June 2010

image for Dogs Now Allowed To Live in Some U.S. College Dorms
"Please don't send me off to college!"

Dogs all over the country were shocked when they read about this in their newspapers. For many of them, it was not good news.

For example, Fido, a New York cocker spaniel, said, "It shouldn't be assumed that we all want to go to college." He had several other points to add: the Scholastic Aptitude Tests required for college admission are a drag; filling out a lot of applications and writing college admission essays -- well, that's no picnic either; finally, textbooks are expensive and carrying them around isn't easy for a dog.

Bo, the While House dog (he's a Portuguese Water dog) agreed. He was heard barking to doggie friends: "No way will I let the Obamas force me to go to college. It's bad enough that I have to perform on the White House lawn for the press corps, but that's it." He also indicated that he would be hard to fit for a cap and gown, come graduation time. And keeping the academic cap on his head would be near to impossible.

An animal rights group, siding with the pooches, issued a strongly worded statement, which said, in part: "College attendance for dogs should be on a strictly voluntary basis. When will humans understand? It's a dog's life, for Pete's sake!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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