A spokesman for the BP Oil Company says that the cap they placed on the leaking oil well in the Gulf was only partially successful...well, say ten to thirty percent.
Immediately the crowd booed, sandals were thrown and he was then hit by nearly a dozen tar balls.
Later, the same John Hoser stated that the only thing left as a sure thing is to sacrifice a virgin on the white beaches of Pensacola, while they were still more or less white.
"So far, there have been no volunteers", stated Hoser. "But it worked for us in...I'm just kidding. We had nothing to do with that Mideast incident. Just some crazies. You know how they are over there. heh heh. No it wasn't us."
Down the coast about 100 yards, thousands of gooey tar balls were appearing closer and closer to the Pensacola shore and a few have already landed.
In other news, the Jedward twins have disappeared.