Written by Bureau
Print this

Monday, 7 June 2010

image for BP: A Virgin Sacrifice The Only Guaranteed Answer, But Can We Find One?

A spokesman for the BP Oil Company says that the cap they placed on the leaking oil well in the Gulf was only partially successful...well, say ten to thirty percent.

Immediately the crowd booed, sandals were thrown and he was then hit by nearly a dozen tar balls.

Later, the same John Hoser stated that the only thing left as a sure thing is to sacrifice a virgin on the white beaches of Pensacola, while they were still more or less white.

"So far, there have been no volunteers", stated Hoser. "But it worked for us in...I'm just kidding. We had nothing to do with that Mideast incident. Just some crazies. You know how they are over there. heh heh. No it wasn't us."

Down the coast about 100 yards, thousands of gooey tar balls were appearing closer and closer to the Pensacola shore and a few have already landed.

In other news, the Jedward twins have disappeared.

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 plus 2?

1 17 7 16
69 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more