PHOENIX - Governor Jan Brewer caving in to even more pressure from members of The Tea Bag Association's, Folks For Doing The Right Thing Coalition Subcommittee, The People Who Know It All Alliance, and Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio has issued a Governor's Proclamation granting her the power to change the name of the state.
Governor Brewer, who is 66, but looks 86, said that due to the fact that a lot of Arizona's residents are unhappy she has decided to act and to act in such a way that will make the unhappy folks become happy folks.
So she has decided to go ahead and change the Spanish name of the state. Brewer said that effective September 1, 2010, at 1:15 p.m. the state of Arizona will no longer be known as Arizona. The name will be dropped and replaced with the name Hitlerona.
When she was asked if that was in reference to Adolf Hitler she replied that it was not and that the name Hitlerona is an old Norwegian word which means "Land of Sand."
The governor said that ever since all of this immigration controversy first began she has become tremendously stressed out. She says she has lost eight pounds and has started stuttering.
She also said that her cellulite has gotten a lot worse and she has now developed varicose veins on her tongue.
Brewer said that on top of all of that her tits are starting to droop like you would not believe.
In other news. The White House has announced that the recently discovered volcano, which lies 17 miles south of Chicago, will be named Mt. Malia, in honor of President Obama's oldest daughter.