Hold your crotch until we can get through the "Extra Virgin" label on olive oil first.
If you've noticed the terms "extra virgin, virgin, cold-pressed, lemon flavored and pure" on the olive oil at the grocery, what does it all mean?
"You have to look close", states a Federal inspector. "There may be little olive oil in the flavored ones. Read the label. It will have other oils, like canola oil, in each container. In fact, it may be mostly canola oil."
Apparently this will all change in the fall. If it was harvested in it's full flower, the olives were at their prime. The lighter, pure golden-colored olives collected and pressed without any heating, will be the Extra-Virgin.'
As far as women are concerned, we only received a chart. This stated that 'lemon flavored' was not the best here either as apparently the 'virgin' had faked it by using lemon juice before her wedding night.
The term virgin means that, no matter what other body parts were used or how many times, the special privilege was waiting for her new mate.
"Pure, Extra Virgin" means that the lady had been hidden at home by her dad as soon as puberty hit.
"Although men say they prefer to marry the "pure, extra virgin", stated one 90-pound, nearly-bald 24-year-old Fed employee, "they may change their minds after the fourth round on night one."