DEMOCRATIC CAMPAIGN HQ, WASHINGTON D.C. - (ABSNN) -- With the national elections only six months away, and incumbent Democrats facing an angered electorate, members of the Democratic Campaign Headquarters in Washington D.C. proposed a drastic plan to hold onto the majorities in both houses of Congress:
If defeated in November, refuse to vacate the office!
"We've just witnessed what happens when you allow stupid voters to make decisions about who should run the country's business--I mean, look at the British shindig," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
"What we intend to do is do what Lincoln's Secretary of War, Edwin Stanton, did when he was fired by President Andrew Johnson. He refused to vacate his office, going so far as to barricade himself inside. We urge our Democrats to do the same," she continued.
The radical Republicans had decided to take on President Andrew Johnson for being too lenient to the conquered Southern States following the Civil War (1861-1865).
Johnson decided to fire Lincoln's Secretay of War, Edwin Stanton. Stanton told Johnson to "Eat shit and die!"
Congress passed the Tenure of Office Act in 1866 which stated that the Senate must advise and give consent on all Presidential changes in his Executive Branch.
Then the Senate shot and killed President Johnson and replaced him with an android look-a-like. The android fooled everybody except Mrs. Johnson who told her women friends, "He has a much larger schwangfroid that Andy had!"
Congressional Democrats in many states face tough opposition from Tea Party candidates such as Rand Paul of Kentucky. To avoid being kicked out of office by the electorate, the Senators and Congressmen and women, have begun to raid old Fall Out shelters and Mormon homes, stealing food and water, and especially double-ply toilet tissue with which to ride out the long seige come November.
Our good friend and Amigo, Abel "The Rod" Rodriguez will continue to follow this rediculous thread. Take it away, Abel!