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Topics: Oil, Hair, Oil Spill, Greece, bp

Thursday, 3 June 2010

image for BP Asks Greeks to Shave Back Hair to Aid Gulf Disaster
Haircut and Back Shave only 250 Drachma (5 Euros)

Athens, Greece - Greece's debt burden is so excessive that the country is looking at every alternative to reduce their burden. With the concurrence from the European Union, Greece has decided to mandate all citizens to shave their back hair daily for collection.

"Hair is very efficient at gathering oil, skin oils off your face, oil pollution out of the air, and water, even petroleum oil spills", said Harold Pompudopolis of the National Greek Hair Institute. Hair can also be stuffed into nylon tubes (sausages) made from recycled nylons, tied together to surround and contain a spill.

There are over 320,000 back hair salons in Athens alone. Each salon produces about 250 lbs of back hair a day. Greece is now in the process of donating nearly 500 tons of back hair a week to aid in the Gulf Oil Spill disaster.

BP is in final negotiations with Greece for the financial offset it will apply to the total Greek debt. Currently, BP is opening warehouses along Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana and Florida and plan to hire the unemployed fisherman to stuff the sausage like booms with the Greek hair.

BP CEO, Tony Hayward commented that the benefit is twofold. BP is bringing green jobs to the US and allowing the Greeks to literally pay for their own debt with the hair off their backs. "We are pleased with this innovative move to utilize a renewable resource and we plan to use this again and again".

White House spokesperson, Demi Coriolis said, "While the Obama administration would like to take credit for the increase in job growth for the Gulf communities, it would rather focus on fiber collection and distribution to get as many indigent people as possible stuffing the hair sausages". What could be better than stuffing greasy, hairy, Greek sausages on a hot humid day?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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