Written by funwithwords
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Topics: Alabama, Cupid

Friday, 4 June 2010

image for Cupid Shot Down Over Local Farm; Mistaken For Wild Goose
Cupid, Moments After Being Shot Down From the Sky

Mobile, Alabama -- In a development that's sending shockwaves around the world, Cupid has been hospitalized after sustaining a shotgun blast to his left buttocks region today.

"How the hell was I supposed to know what it was?" farm hand Billy Greys pleaded whilst being arrested by local authorities. "F**k I thought it was a wild goose!" he begged as he was hauled away in handcuffs.

As expected, throngs of well-wishers have gathered outside Providence Hospital in Mobile at this hour where Cupid is reportedly on life support.

"Why?" one flabbergasted woman queried, "why would -- it's just so senseless," she uttered wiping tears from her cheeks. "How could anyone mistaken Cupid for a damn goose anyway?"

Others agreed with the woman's sentiments.

"This aint right!" one angry man bellowed from within the crowd. "How would that redneck like somebody to bust a cap in his ass?"

Recognizing the gravity of the situation, the Grey family lawyer held an impromptu press conference concerning the matter.

"We're confident that Billy will come out of this most unfortunate situation unscathed," the lawyer asserted confidently. "Let's get real here, folks: it's not everyday that Cupid is seen buzzing around the local hog farms here in Mobile," he quipped.

Yet, recognizing the discrepancy from the shooter's claims and that of his lawyer's, reporters pressed the lawyer for a clearer explanation.

"Well, I think my client meant he thought it was a wild goose at first," the lawyer suggested.

"However," he continued, "there's no doubt the little man was armed to the teeth," the lawyer explained of the bow and quiver of arrows found littered across the crime scene. "This is a simple case of self-defense."

Doctor's say Cupid's side of the story may be forthcoming in a matter of hours; however, the lead surgeon has advised patience.

"Well, he's doing well despite having been shot in the arse," the Dr. offered. "It's still a wait and see situation though."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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