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Thursday, 3 June 2010

Washington - Robert Gibbs confirmed yesterday that President Obama does prefer complimentary breakfasts as opposed to those conventional meals that speak no compliments.

"[Non-complimentary breakfasts] offer little value of his particular needs," Gibbs stated. The spokesman then chided the press for its focus on personal issues when the nation has more serious concerns.

Spending Tuesday on the golf course with Hugo Chavez and Tuesday evening at a private concert with Paul McCartney, President Obama himself has not addressed the rumors.

Gibbs' comments are aimed at quelling any negative perception of the president. Lawsuits are already pending for Post Cereals for its rumored new Eggo Waffles campaign, "Lego My Ego."

Insiders have corroborated the rumors. According to Jan West with the Washington Post, the new electronic waffles will speak phrases such as, "Finally, I've met my superior" and "Awesome, did you just take me from that other guy against his will? You're so progressive!" and "I love the way you talk through your eyebrows and neck at the American people. They don't deserve your mouth the way I do."

The President's official statement is said to come tomorrow when he returns from his vacation in Pensacola, FL. The comments will be part of a larger speech focused on capitalism following his nearly hour-long tour of the Gulf oil spill.

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