Written by Charpa93
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Thursday, 3 June 2010

image for Tipper Gore Wants to Give Tony Hayward his Life Back
Tony's Early Days as a Plumber

Sometimes people who are caught in relationships that put such a stranglehold on who they are start to want for something completely opposite. Case in point, Tipper Gore. For decades, she has been married to Al Gore, a quiet, unassuming man who assumes everyone is as fervent about saving the planet as he is. Some are, but Tipper may not be. Thing about Al Gore is, he has been quite successful in making people believe in him even to the point of becoming a recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize.

He didn't get there overnight. He had a strong, supportive wife by his side every turn of the way, but now that he's made his mark, what is there left for Tipper to do?

As soon as Tony Hayward appeared on television trying to take the helm and solve the problemsome oil spill, however, Tipper Gore has seen the young Al Gore she married-a vulnerable, helpless man, who can't seem to get anything right. Hayward, when speaking, seems to have a shoe permanently attached between his lips, just like Al did so many years ago.

That may be the thing that broke Al and Tipper up, that vulnerable British man with his cockeyed view of the world. A man who doesn't care how much he fu*ks up his life and that of the world as long as he can just make some money.

The timing was such that you just can't deny it. Last weekend, Hayward announced to the world that he wanted the oil spill over just as much as everyone else because, in his words, "I just want my life back." A day or so later, Al and Tipper announced their separation. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see what is going on here. Al Gore is sure about himself. He knows that his karma is intact and he is doing something he can one day (hell today) tell his grandkids about.

Tony Hayward, however, is a lost soul floating in a sea of oil, and maybe, just maybe, Tipper sees another opportunity to take a rough piece of stone and turn it into a diamond.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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