Written by Guy Bellefonte
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Tuesday, 1 June 2010

image for Recent Study: People More Likely To Pollute Ocean After Oil Spill
I don't feel like going back to the room to pee

Ocean City, NJ- As if the New Jersey oceans weren't dirty enough, a recent study suggests that people are more likely to pollute the oceans now more than ever.

"I see the footage from that Gulf spill and think, is my beer can really going to be that bad? Me and my buddies have been tossing in empties all morning," said a Philadelphia man on vacation.

This holiday weekend alone, people have witnessed dumping of peanut oil from turkey fryers, used tampons and old bath mats being carelessly discarded into the Atlantic.

Atlantic County councilman Anthony Cruz said, "this is going to be a major problem for our beaches until that oil spill is stopped and this who cares attitude melts away. It's disgusting."

Most tourists are wise enough not to eat seafood in New Jersey, but some unlucky tourists may find more than they bargained for in their oysters and clams this season.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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