Written by Charpa93
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Tuesday, 1 June 2010

image for Liberty University Revokes Glenn Beck's Honorary Doctorate

Lynchburg, VA - Glenn Beck's recent behavior on his radio broadcast this past week has led the good people at Liberty University to re-think their decision about bestowing Beck with an honorary doctorate in humanities and the school is in the process of having it revoked. "Never in the history of this school have we had to resort to such drastic measures, but we feel it is the only intelligent thing to do to preserve the reputation of this fine learning institute," said a spokesperson on behalf of Jerry Falwell, Jr., Chancellor of Liberty University.

Liberty University is the world's largest Christian University, and this past graduating class was the largest ever. Glenn Beck was on hand to deliver the commencement speech, and before doing so was presented with the honorary doctorate in humanities for his "positive impact on society," claimed Falwell.

However, according the spokesperson, Beck's recent behavior on his radio broadcast this past week has led the good people at Liberty University to re-think their decision about Beck and his capacity to understand what humanities even means. "Some of us wanted to just give him an honorary degree in study hall or home room, not something aligned with bona fide academics. We knew it would probably be way over his head, and it turned out we were 100% correct." It is for this reason that they have decided to revoke the honorary doctorate.

While they still hold Beck in high esteem for his belief system, they do find it disconcerting that Beck came off in his show as somewhat idiotic for not quite being able to find that jumping off point as he went on and on and on giggling and making fun of the daughter of the President of the United States.

The University doesn't really have a problem with what Glenn Beck said, it is the childish and possibly manic way he went about saying it that disturbs the governing body of the University. "If we align ourselves with someone who obviously has a few mental issues, what will that say about us? What will that do to the school's reputation of being taken seriously as a higher learning institution? The highest level we think he may be able to pull off might be the sophomore year and that's a far cry from a doctorate."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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