Written by Charpa93
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Monday, 31 May 2010

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Little is known about the group calling itself the Paliens, but sources have indicated that they are a group of clairvoyants who are secretly infiltrating Sarah Palin events and using their supernatural powers to alter the intelligence of Palin herself. It is believed that the Paliens are part of a larger, more universal group that goes by the name of "Libertaliens."

The Paliens' ability to shift energy and thought is so highly evolved that they are able to sneak past security at all of Palin's speaking engagements. Once inside, they are believed to send silent signals to Palin herself, willing her to misspeak. This, in turn, creates controversy in order to singlehandedly bring down the Republican Party and cause a new, more powerful political party to rise up, driven by those intent on taking their country back from the existing government.

Some say that this is becoming a reality as the party whose beliefs and ideology most closely resembles this vision, the Libertarians, are becoming increasingly stronger on the political scene, managing to snap up the many inconsequential political posts in small-town elections, such as comptrollers, commissioners, and court clerks, with the belief that these posts will lead them to control the towns as constables and mayors, and eventually lead to one of the strongest candidates becoming President of the United States.

This is a highly evolved and highly evolving group of beings who procreate into whatever form they deem necessary to further carry out their political message.

Paliens and Libertaliens appear to be like anyone else in attendance at the various Palin speaking engagements, and in fact, may look strikingly similar to your friends or neighbors. But upon closer look, you notice the glazed look in their eyes and the fervent nature of their speech which are both considered dead giveaways.

No one yet has had the courage to ask the person next to them if they are, in fact, a Palien because of the powerful dread that overcomes them when seated next to one.

"I swear I was sitting next to a Palien over in Point Lookout, Missouri when Sarah Palin spoke at the College of the Ozarks." The man kept referring to Sarah as the great 'Miss Communicator' and when I corrected him to say that Sarah did not miscommunicate anything, he replied 'no, I mean Miss Communicator' as in 'Miss Missouri', 'Miss America', indeed 'Miss Universe.' He said it just like that. It was eerie. I started to believe everything he and Sarah Palin said with such conviction."

So why Sarah Palin and why now? The only conclusion we can come up with is that ever since the Libertalien sub-group known as the "Qualiens" botched its attempt to bring down the Republican Party during George H.W. Bush's campaign for President in 1988, by dumbing down the responses made by Dan Quayle at various media events, the Libertaliens have been looking for another candidate capable of carrying out their vision of putting a Libertalien in the White House.

It is believed by the Paliens that the more conservative political careers Palin can destroy just by having them associate their campaigns with her, the more Libertarian-like candidates can step up to the plate and actually attempt a take-back of the United States government. Case in point, Rand Paul, believed now to be the forerunner of the Libertalien group.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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