Just hours after Obama told the world he was' in charge from day one' concerning the Gulf Oil Spill, and 'the buck stops here', he was forced to concede impotency when it was announced despite his efforts to 'be on top of things' he was unable to plug the 'ho.
In a last ditch effort to regain some sense of dignity, the beleaguered and belittled president whose level of competency is even being challenged from within his own party, as well as from previously adoring journalists, was forced to call on the country's biggest 'ho master', slick Willie Clinton, his ownself.
Clinton who had been quoted as saying at one point after the election Obama would have to "kiss my ass' before he would have anything to do with him, was seen entering the White House wearing an Arkansas Tartan plaid kilt after accepting an emergency lunch date with the diminished President.
Clinton, questioned concerning the odd attire, smiled and said, " I just wanted to make myself more accessible to the President in his time of need!" (Wink)
Shortly after the afternoon tryst Press Secretary Robert Gibbs was able to ''clear up' a few lingering questions the nation has had for the past 12 months.
Gibbs said that it was Clinton who had approached Democratic congressman Sestak, with the bribe offer to stand aside in the Pa. Senate primary so as not to impede Obama's mandate to get health insurance since current flip/flop GOP/Dem Senator Spector, 97, could cast the deciding vote, but it was 'just politics' and 'certainly not criminal.'
Secondly, after three failed choices to run the bureaucratic "Director of Intelligence" position, the President conceded the position was an oxymoron saying as he turned over the title to Bubba, 'no one besides Bill Clinton could possibly coordinate a committee responsible for overseeing 16 separate enforcement agencies headed by political hacks with either political or academic backgrounds and no experience is dealing with crime, terrorists or war criminals."
Thirdly, Obama declared he would not be running for a second term, and sincerely endorsed the candidacy of Current Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to take over for him in 2012.
In a prepared statement the President said, "Let me make this perfectly clear, ahh, going forward....which I don't chose to do...I've had enough...I realize now that I'm not cut out for this job which requires even more effort, compassion, common sense and management ability than God granted me, even as HIS anointed son."
"I do not wish, nor will I accept my party's nomination for a second term, for God knows, I'm set for life anyway after just 16 months in office. Tony Blair is going to look like a piker by the time I hit the streets as a civilian again!"
"While some may say my brief 4 year tenure was filled with controversy, I can only say, 'let history be the judge.' Meanwhile, as I now take advantage of my 2 1/2 years of vacation time, comp time, and sick leave, I take pride that history will record me as being the first non native born US President!"
To celebrate the announcement Obama, Bill & Hillary met in the Lincoln bedroom and in a joint ceremony burned the last copy of Barry's birth certificate that had been unearthed in a mud hut in Kenya.
Because of the last minute Tee Time, Michelle was not available to complete the foursome, but Bill, in a moment of charity, gave Barry an extra 3 strokes enabling him to play Hillary 'even up.'
According to aide standing outside the bedroom door, Obama was heard to say, 'You want me to fill that hole up with this? I'm going need a lot of that heavy mud, and a whole lot more golf balls!"
Rush Limbaugh confirmed what most American's already thought" Politics doth indeed make strange bedfellows!"
Chris Matthews wept uncontrollably and CNBC went to a commercial break.
New President Joe Biden preened and said to Keith Olbermann, "Now this is a REALLY BIG FUCKING DEAL....from Parliament to President in only 36 years!"
Now #2 in the Regime, Nancy Pelosi has demanded an even bigger plane.