New Orleans, Louisiana. With the failure of the "top kill", BP have announced drastic action to expedite the sealing of the massive oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico.
BP General Manager, Bob Grease, announced to assembled press that the leak will be stemmed by placing some used chewing gum over the hole.
"We have no alternative" he explained.
President Obama has been advised and a spokesman for him said that the situation is "sticky".
A "homey" from the Bronx has been selected to provide the gum.
The world waits with abated breath the end game to this miserable affair.