Due to environmental concerns and numerous safety violations, President Obama's Environmental Protection Agency has ordered that all semi-tractor trailers in the United States be sent to scrap yards where they will be melted down and recycled.
EPA spokesperson Janet Summers said, "These big rigs, operated by fat lazy slobs that don't know how to do anything else except eat fast food and pass gas are hereby ordered to be terminally halted indefinitely. The scrap metal from the melted down rigs will be used to create a giant wind farm in North Dakota, which will provide enough Green Energy to replace the energy deficit created by the BP Disaster. Also, the Green Jobs created by this operation will pull our economy out of the black hole created by former President Bush and his team of ignorant crackers."
According to the new plan, millions of genetically engineered camels are now being brought to life in massive government laboratories.
Ms. Summers went on to explain, "Our plan to replace the trucks with camels is currently on the fast track. Using a uniquely engineered drug cocktail of methamphetamines and steroids we should have enough camel power to nearly double the output of all those big ugly trucks by the end of August."
At the press briefing, a FOX news reporter shouted out a series of questions before he was quickly escorted out of the building by Secret Service Agents, "What about all the god damn camel shit? Who the fu#@ is going to clean it up? Are those the Green Jobs you've been promising?"