Written by Guy Bellefonte
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Topics: Toilet, Twitter

Friday, 28 May 2010

image for Area Man Asks Nation to "Follow My Bowel Movements on Twitter"
Can't Wait to Tweet This One

Arlington, VA - Justin Crane wants you to get up to the minute information about his most recent bowel movements by following his twitter account.

"I have a high fiber diet which I make no apologies and I'm so proud of my movements, I want the world to know about them," Crane told MPG.

Followers can receive twitter/shitter messages such as:

"Those prunes are getting huge results in the toilet!" and "just took a major league dump at a McDonalds"

Crane would like to get 1,000 followers by August and 5,000 by December. Crane is ultimatley hoping that Americans will increase the amount of fiber in their diet so they too can have a movement worth mentioning.

"It's a big part of our daily lives, I mean we all do it. Why not be great at it? I've spent too much time admiring these masterpieces by myself. It's time the world got a glimpse at greatness."

You can follow Justin's bowel movements on Twitter @bowelmovementz

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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