MEXICALI, Mexico - President Obama was in Mexicali, Baja California, speaking before a gathering of The Muchachos and Muchachas Maracas Makers Union of Mexico.
He was asked by a reporter for The Mexicali Morning Serape newspaper if he did not feel that his treatment of the state of Arizona was starting to border a bit on the obsessively compulsive side.
The president asked the reporter's name. "Ease not important what my name ease Meester Presidente so ju will answer to me my question por favor."
"Por favor? Is that like that fella that used to come out on Rawhide, Gil Por Favor?"
"Jes, I tink dat it ease - but ju are trying to sidesaddle (sidestep) my question Meester Alabama."
"Okay now little fella. Let's stop playing games here. And my last name is Obama, not Alabama. Damn didn't you take geography in high school, or maybe, perhaps you're still in grade school?"
"Jur mama vato (dude)"
"Well jur mama vato back to you and throw in jur grandmama, jur tia (aunt), jur prima (cousin), and jur esposa (wife), or maybe perhaps you ain't got an esposa cause maybe just perhaps you're one of dem gay caballeros they sing about, huh Chico?"
Several of the members of the Mexican press looked at each other in utter amazement at the excellent command of the Spanish language that President Obama had just exhibited.
One even remarked that President Obama sounded a little like Lee Treviño, the fat golfer from back in the day who always mispronounced his last name. Lee always pronounced it as [TRA-VINNO] instead of [TRE-VEE-NIO].
The president again asked the reporter for The Mexicali Morning Serape for his name. And again the stubborn little muchacho refused.
Finally the president got fed up and he told his Chief Special Agent Laramie Cobalt to put the little arrogant son-of-a-puta in handcuffs and take him outside and turn him into a piñata.
And as the little twat was being led out the door, the crowd of reporters erupted into chants of "Ole Brobama! Ole Brobama! Ole Brobama!
The president smiled and shouted out, "Muchas gracias mis ombligos and long live Taco Bell!"
[EDITOR'S NOTE: The president said omligos but he really meant to say amigos. Amigos means friends, ombligos means belly buttons.]
The president was asked what he planned on doing about the problem with the arrogant state of Arizona.
President Obama shook his head and said that he is seriously thinking about cutting off all government funding except for the food stamp program.
He then pointed out that he has already drawn up the plans to permanently shut down The University of Arizona and The University of Arizona State.
Someone asked "How about Northern Arizona University?"
The president thought for a second and then answered that he would not be shutting down NAU.
When asked why not NAU. He turned his head and said because he knows several NAU alumni and they are fantastic people who do not have a prejudice bone in their bodies.
In an unrelated story. The first and only lesbian country singer Chely Wright has stated that she now wishes that she had kept her big fat lesbianite mouth shut. She said that since she announced she was one of them 'funny gals', her nationwide record sales have gone down from about 500 a day to one a week.