TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - The Grand Exalted Dragon Wizard of The Grand Imperial Order of The Knights of The Off-White Bougainvillea, Rayford "Whitey" Giddykoontz has just announced that the Ku Klux Klan is moving their headquarters from Tuscaloosa, Alabama to Tucson, Arizona.
Giddykoontz said that their lease will be up at the end of June and they are not going to renew it. He added that the KKK organization took a vote and decided that it would be in the racist groups best interest to move out to Arizona and take advantage of the tremendous amount of buildings and houses that are getting ready to go on the market.
The KKK has always been a group that prides itself in being up to date on the latest goings on in the world of civil rights, discrimination, racism, trailer park cornbread recipes, bigotry, possum hunting, NASCAR, country gals in Daisy Duke short shorts, deer blinds, and country music singers Toby Keith, Gretchen Wilson, and Reba McEntire.
When Giddykoontz was asked why his organization had decided on Tucson he paused a little. He took a puff from his Camel Cigarette. He took a dip of his Copenhagen Smokeless Tobacco.
He then took a sip of his Lone Star Long Neck bottle, and replied, "Hey feller, dat's a damn good question. But I hear tell dat us KKKers be movin' to Arizona cause of three thangs. One, be da weather. Yes it's hot and we will no doubt sweat our lily white asses underneath dem heavy white cotton robes and hoods but hey you ain't never seen no fat KKKer has ya?
And two, we hear tell dat King Barack the First has said dat he plans on prohibiting anyone from traveling to Arizona or even passing through it. In fact, we hear tell dat the black boy he be figuring out a way to kick Arizona plumb out of the U.S. of A."
Giddykoontz was asked to name the third 'thang' and he got a puzzled look on his face and asked, "What third thang is you be talkin' 'bout feller?"
The third reason that the triple K's are moving to Arizona? Giddykoontz became somewhat agitated and he lifted his racist robe, revealing a sawed-off shotgun sticking half way out of his boxer britches.
Suddenly the shotgun accidentally went off. And although Rayford "Whitey" Giddykoontz is gonna be okay, let's just say that the redneck sumbitch won't be doin' any 'taco ticklin' any time soon.
In a related story. Arizona Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio has said that the KKK boys had better behave themselves when they get to Arizona because if they don't he will have them arrested and dressed up in pink hood and pink robes.