Written by Charpa93
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Wednesday, 26 May 2010

image for Texas Rewrites Nursery Rhymes for Daycare Centers
Mommy, Pweeze Read Me a Story

Austin, TX - Following the heels of the recent changes to Texas' history and social studies textbooks for school-age children, Texas educators are taking the idea one step further and re-working some favorite nursery rhymes for toddlers to be taught in the various daycare programs across the state.

Rhymes such as Humpty-Dumpty and Little Bo Peep will be re-worked so as to put a decidedly 'Texas' spin on everything Texas children learn from as early an age as possible. For instance, Humpty-Dumpty has been changed to read:

Pedro and Julio sat on a wall
Pedro and Julio started to fall
All of the border guards, all of the men
Pushed em back over on their side again.

And Little Bo Peep is now being recited as follows:

Little Juan Gomez has lost his papers
And doesn't know where to find them,
So pick him up quick, and send him back home
As well as his brothers behind him.

Lastly, London Bridge is Falling Down becomes:

Border Fence is Falling Down,
Falling Down, Falling Down,
Border Fence is Falling Down
It Needs Fixin'

Get Some Funds and Build it Up
Build it Up, Build it Up,
Get the Funds and Build it Up
To Keep out Mex'cans.

The new nursery rhyme books are expected to be ready in time for the upcoming school year beginning in August. In addition, they will replace ordinary nursery rhyme books in all of Texas' libraries. While educators are quick to point out that this is definitely not an indoctrination program, they do admit that it will go far to prepare young minds for similar learning further down the road and restore a mindset that has deteriorated over the years due to what they refer to as "too much liberal and not enough libertarian."

In other news, the Alamo is expected to undergo a complete renovation beginning immediately. It will become a new shrine to Texas and will simply be called "The Texas Shrine."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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